Traditional Rites To Follow In Acquiring A Bride In Mbaise.

This is a general summary of how brides are had in the Igbo traditional setting of Mbaise. It will be exposed step by step and with time.

Note: The groom is not necessarily active in these proceedings. He may or may not be present but the rites are undertaken by his kinsmen.

The first rite is the 'introduction'. The date is fixed by the groom's party and announced to the prospective bride's family. If the date is conducive for both parties, preparations are made for the visit. The male members of the family are notified so they can be present. The only females that can be in such meetings are those that came with the groom's kinsmen.

The groom may or may not arrive with his kinsmen. They are welcomed by the bride's people, given kola and asked to state their mission, which the spokesman does directly or indirectly. After stating their mission, the following items are presented for assessment by the bride's kinsmen:

a. 1 big jar of palmwine.

b. 1 carton of beer (Star preferrably).

c. 8 kolanuts (4 two lobed kolanuts (Gworo Hausa) 4 Four-lobed kolanuts (Oji Igbo)).

d. 1 hot drink.

e. A certain amount of money for 'enquiry' (ajuju).

Depending on how far the groom's location is, the cash varies greatly. This money is to enable the bride's people journey down to the groom's location to inquire after the groom's family for there are certain qualities that are frowned at by different families.

Precautions:

1. Get the palmwine from a good trusted tapper.

2. Make sure the kolanuts are good and not dried out.

3. To be on the easy side, have more than 1 bottle of hot drink and extra cash for fines.

Any fault found with the items presented results in a fine depending on the item. Note that this is hardly a peaceful proceeding as both parties dig out faults in either side as a norm in the negotiations. The groom should stay out of it. Any communications with the groom should be made in private

The prospective bride is then called in and asked if she knows the visitors. She is then told of their mission and asked if they should proceed to accept the gifts they brought. Should she reply 'Yes', the proceedings moves on and she is asked to leave.

They then settle to eat and drink as prepared by the bride's family. Mostly served here are oil bean (ugba), rice and fufu. The palmwine and drinks presented by the groom's kinsmen are used as refreshment.

After a successful introduction and enquiry, both parties moves on to the next stage.